Hooking Up With Girls At Festivals Is Oh So Wrong

Another summer is over, and with it the festival season has disappeared almost as fast as it arrived.

I’ve heard some truly outrageous stories from my friends about festival experiences with the fairer sex and it’s left me wondering. Do guys actually go to festivals anticipating a chance to score? Really?

I’m a guy, fairly red blooded, and hardly one to turn a blind eye to an attractive flock of scantily clad felines in the summer sun. But there’s just something about trying to pull at a festival which seems wrong to me. So very wrong.

For a start, you have a 24 hour time window. I went to Glastonbury this year and for those of you who don’t know, the Glastonbury experiences lasts a total of five days. It would be rude to take a shower at Glasto. If you’re there, you have to embrace the sweat pit of mud and perspiration. That’s just the way it works.

So if you’re going to Glastonbury and planning on hooking up with a girl, you pretty much have to get on the chase from the get go. It’s hard to resist the temptation to reach for the sunnies and have a bloody good stare on the first day. Swarms of attractive females, all happy and optimistic for the week ahead, and all up for a good time.

But understand that if you don’t shack up on the first night, it ain’t worth shacking up at all.

A couple of days in to the festival and I found myself stumbling out of my tent looking more and more like a bedraggled caveman than a potential lover. Not even a supersize 500 pack of babywipes is going to make you smell good at a festival. I was lucky enough to have a tent to myself. The idea of waking up next to a girl with the sun baking me alive and the taste of hangover and regret in my mouth, ugh, it’s enough to make me forget sex completely.

And yet, one of my friends chose to forgo hygiene logic completely on the third day. He didn’t just hook up with a girl. He hooked up with a girl for ORAL SEX. I’m sorry but that’s just bloody disgusting. If you’re going to get dirty at a music festival, you don’t get dirty in the mouth!

I’d imagine it’s the equivalent of kneeling down in a portaloo and licking the seat. Needless to say, he gained the most manpoints for his achievement. But we all felt a little bit sick around the campsite long in to Ralf Harris’s opening set.

Festivals are a great place to meet new people. But they can also engulf a man in scandal if he chooses to peruse the camping site with his cock for brains. By the final morning of Glastonbury, I felt so agitated through the filth and sweat that I would have positively slapped any girl who dared to wink at me with a glimpse of intent. Not that it happens, of course. All jokes aside, Glasto was one of the greatest experiences of my life and maybe my lack of a wandering eye was one of the contributing factors.

Have you tried to skirmish romantically or sexually at a festival? It seems most of my friends have. But personally, I only have eyes for the shower and the next beer. Get her number if you’re that much of a keen bean!

Recommended This Week:

• Liked this post? Please feel free to add Dating For LOLs to your RSS reader, or follow DatingForLOLs on Twitter.

• Check out our brand new Dating Directory for honest reviews of various dating sites on the web.

• Delicious