Plentyoffish Inbox Empty? Tips For Males!

Is your Plentyoffish inbox empty? Are you getting the serial cold shoulder treatment?

Plentyoffish seems to be the free dating site of choice for singletons these days. With millions of members and no user restrictions, the site is growing at a rapid pace. And it’s easy to see why.

We looked at some sites like Plentyoffish last week, but there’s no doubt that POF is still the kingpin. The problem for many male members is that it also happens to be an incredibly lop-sided community.

The deciding factor in whether your Plentyoffish inbox is buzzing or bare can be pinned on one hopeless question:

Are you a man or a woman?

If the answer is male, prepare to do a whole lot of chasing for little or no replies. It sucks to have a penis online. This is the bare truth.

But if you’re a woman? Get your trigger finger ready on the “Block” button. Dating sites are lop-sided by their very nature. Plentyoffish takes the cake, though.

Some demographics serve up as many as 15 messages to a female’s inbox for every single message that a male receives.

While I have no interest in using Plentyoffish personally, the sweet science of online dating is something that intrigues me greatly. I just read this post over on the Plentyoffish dating blog and if you’re a male, there are a number of good pointers you can take away. I’m going to summarize for the benefit of all those empty POF inboxes.

If I had to apply some common sense, I would say the easiest way to fix Plentyoffish is a two step formula:

a) Men to send better messages.
b) Women to actually reply to some of them.

But, of course, love is a game without logic.

Perhaps the best advice for guys on Plentyoffish is to strip away any over-powering masculinity and write like a woman. This evidence is firmly supported not only by the case study above, but by OkCupid’s statistical analysis.

Women are suspicious, skeptical, cynical and just downright hard to draw out of their shells on dating sites. It’s an instinctive quality, probably born through the sheer abundance of “creepers” they’ve been messaged by over time.

I’m going to copy and paste one of the most successful profiles from the Plentyoffish dating blog, so you can see how this lack of masculinity pans out. The dude below has been listed as a “favourite” by an abnormally high number of women. But why?

His profile:

“Who am I? . . . I’m Spider-Man. Wait, no, that was a movie! . . . . . I would describe myself as stable in my career and goal-oriented. I enjoy making people laugh. I am intelligent and can carry on meaningful conversations. I care about other people’s feelings. . . . . . When I’m with someone special I like being spontaneous, adventurous, romantic, surprising them with little gestures, sensual, playful, and basically having that type of fun you see two people who just met in the movies having! Someone to laugh with, hang out with, be spontaneous with, and have fun with! I’m looking for someone who has similar qualities and desires someone who they can connect with . . . . . . I feel there has to be mutual physical attraction for there to be good chemistry between two people. So being fit and having good looks are important, as well as sensuality and affection. . . . . . Having some similar interests helps–some things I enjoy are fine dining, walking at the beach at night, going dancing, watching movies including foreign films, travelling, going snowboarding, going on day trips to local attractions, having romantic nights at home, cuddling, and basically having a blast together. . . . . .”

It reads like a woman wrote it. Christ, I’ve seen enough of the PUA industry to have no doubt that one probably did. The language is soft, passive and distinctly nonthreatening.

Just look at those interests! Fine dining, dancing, walking on the bloody beach at night. Are you kidding me? No man in his right mind recites these interests to his mates at the pub.

As for “going on day trips to local attractions”, this is blatant lady-friendly terminology for saying “I like to get rat-arsed and watch the game on Sunday afternoons“. More to the point, it doesn’t matter what you mean. What matters is how you say it. Women will always respond more positively to language that appeals to them and doesn’t scream this man is out to terrorize my life.

It’s important to write your profile in such a way that, despite giving up whatever masculinity you have, a woman can read your shit and have boxes ticking in her head.

So if that empty Plentyoffish inbox is beginning to bother you, maybe it’s time to send less messages and spend more time portraying yourself in a light that women can easily gravitate towards.

Rewrite your profile, or get a female friend to word it for you. I know many guys who’ve done this and seen a big improvement in their response rates.

Of course, the alternative is to abandon Plentyoffish altogether and join a dating site where the playing field is more even. Other dating sites can offer much better ratios of active female to male members. If you join a dating site where the users are more serious about actually dating, well who knows? You might actually get a date out of this whole ordeal. And as many guys would attest, it would be a fine achievement indeed.

Alternatives to Plentyoffish:

If you’re looking for a slightly more ‘liberal’ dating site aimed at casual dating demographics, check out the controversially sexy Just Hookup dating website. Free registrations for users in the UK, USA, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

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