Why Do Women Obsess Over Finding “The One”?

There is a theory that women lose vastly more sleep over finding “the one” than your average guy. I believe we all love the idea of a perfect harmony. A relationship that makes the rest look meaningless. But women are much more prone to anxiety bouts related to that elusive search.

It seems the common explanation is that women are simply blessed with less time than men. Our biological clocks are wired to different life cycles that can make it difficult for a woman to attract men in her later years. That’s not what Cougar Date suggests, but it’s a reasonable explanation.

I stumbled across this opinion on Yahoo. See what you think:

“Men can father children at age 80. After 35, female fertility decreases, and chances of birth defects increase. Many women would like to be able to be married for a couple years first, with no kids, just to enjoy each other. Then if you consider that you never know if you might run into fertility problems, so it might take a few years, and then if you want more than one child, you better get started before age 30. So, with a couple years of “trying” in there, and a couple years of just enjoying married life, that puts you at 26 for getting married. And most of us would like to have dated and gotten to know the person for a few years first, so that puts you at 24 for meeting your future husband, if you want to follow your plan. No wonder young women are in a rush.”

I can understand the thinking, but I can’t help but feel sorry for any woman who is compelled to live life in this way. If you’re overwhelmed with a sense of time is running out before your 25th birthday, I struggle to see how you can truly understand the concept of “the one”.

Isn’t the perfect blend of love a creation that should overcome small matters such as being 24 or 54? If you base it purely on the platform it builds for your personal ambitions (to have six kids, or to call yourself a mother), then it isn’t a true love at all. It’s just a replacement for the feeling of loneliness you created in yourself.

The passage above could convince any girl to believe that her life is a parallel race against the nature of fertility. My solution? Stop caring about kids. Seriously, if the prospect of having a child is enough for you to mould your life ten years in advance, you’re ignoring many of the great joys life has to offer. Joys that don’t chain you to a pram.

Joys such as, I don’t know, not being dragged out of bed at 4am in the morning. Or being able to chase a successful career without handicapping yourself at the starting post.

I believe many women create problems and stresses for themselves by confining their hopes and dreams to an ancient way of thinking – build home, have kids, job done. This makes the search for Mr. Perfect less of a pleasure and more of a savage free-for-all. Nobody can guarantee that you will find the man of your dreams. But if you can’t accept that you’ll be perfectly okay without him, this insecurity will get the better of you.

I see so many old high school friends (all under 25) with more than one kid, no job, and Facebook statuses that have me erring between pitiful sympathy and anger at their reliance on the state. Did they really enjoy sacrificing everything to raise families so young?

How many mothers would suggest of their children – “Yes, I’d love for my daughter to be a mother of two by 18.” You never hear this. Their daughters are going to achieve great things and realise their dreams. They’ll be rich and famous, says the proud mother! This is lovely fighting talk. Really nice. But why did they never feel that way for themselves?

I think a growing number of women are becoming more career minded and waking up to the realisation their own lives are worth living. This is hardly a uniform argument for all women being young, stupid and pregnant. But the hunt for Mr Perfect goes on.

In centuries gone by, the need to marry young and have children was facilitated by a low life expectancy and a distorted society that made it impossible for women to prosper in any other way. But in 2011, 40 is the new 30 and women can be independent if they so wish.

Statistics back up that couples are marrying much older than they did a decade ago. There’s clearly no rush to find Mr. Perfect, but you could be fooled if you dared to visit the watercooler in a female orientated office. What Sally got up to with Jason on Friday night is all you’ll bloody hear about. And this leads me to believe that women obsess over finding Mr. Right primarily because it suits them so.

Biology has nothing on the gossip a woman would lose by downplaying the trials and tribulations of love!

Recommended This Week:

• Cougars represent! If you’re a mature lady or a younger guy wanting to sample some sophistication in love, say hello to Cougar Date. I shudder to imagine the content of the first messages.

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