Thai Women And Skin Whitening

One of the strangest things about Thai women is the obsession many of them seem to have with aligning themselves to western culture. I was aware of this before I moved to Bangkok, but it only really dawns on you once you’re walking the streets and seeing the influence of the west with your own eyes.

Thai women have an obsession with whitening their skin. In contrast to my girlfriend who likes to lay out in the sun like a lounge kitten and soak up any rays she can grab, the Thai women attach no such beauty to being tanned or dark skinned. Nearly all of the billboards are plastered with whiter than white models, but the real insanity is evident when you walk in to Boots.

Nearly every skin product in the pharmacy is loaded with whitening serum to the point where my girlfriend has trouble raiding her stash without compromising her tan. And believe me, she kicks up a fuss about it. We’re not talking about a small niche in the skincare aisle. Literally, EVERYTHING comes with whitening serum.

It’s like walking in to Superdrug and finding every skin lotion bursting at the brim with the ingredients to give you that You’ve Been Tango’d shine. So much social rank is placed on skin colour over here. The women will go to crazy extremes to give themselves lighter tones of skin. It’s bordering on the absurd. Especially considering the natural beauty of many Thai girls.

But I guess it’s no different to our own skin tone fantasies. How many British tourists do you find laying on the beach for hours on end, slowly grilling under the sun, all in the name of a bronzed tan? Practically all of them if my beach trip to Rayong is anything to go by. While we like to appear olive skinned, the Thais adore milky white faces and limbs. Unfortunately for us, our best efforts to get tanned are usually dented by the world’s least sexy look – the dreaded tanlines from hell.

In Rayong, I saw British women limping around the pool with tanlines scrawled across their backs that I could have played noughts and crosses on. Seriously, why wear straps in 35 degree heat!

Another freaky beauty craze in Thailand is to wear giant contact lenses to make your eyes look bigger. I guess this is result of copying yet more western beauty ideals, but it can actually look pretty freaky.

I have an eye condition where my pupils look dilated most of the time. I get a ton of comments about it from people who assume I’m drugged up or cakebaked off my face. I can’t imagine why any girl would choose to give herself that complex, but many of them do.

It’s definitely interesting to see the values that Thai women place in beauty and what they believe to be attractive traits, presumably with the help of our fucked up western stereotypes. I just wish I could get some sun tan lotion that didn’t harm my efforts to get rid of the London tan!

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Tourists And Thai Hookers

I’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of having to spend six days in residential accommodation on the doorstep of Bangkok’s Red Light District, and in that time, I’ve been able to see the staggering stupidity of many western tourists.

Thailand is a beautiful country. The food is amazing, the people charming and the weather…oh it’s only about 33°C. Not too shoddy while London hibernates completely at the slightest sniff of a snowflake.

But for all of Thailand’s charms, it’s just as susceptible to the kind of seedy hot spots that you’d see on a drunken night out in Soho. The small district, Nana, where I was staying, was literally littered in brothel bars.

You get in to the habit of people watching from the distance and judging a tourist by his intentions. Is he loitering around the bars because it’s full of English speakers and a welcome reminder of home? Or is he lapping up the attention of the many young Thai prossers in vicinity?

I’m not one to judge the lifestyle choices of others. Well, actually I am, but that’s not the point I’m about to make.

I can understand the motives of the guys who flock to the hookers for a quick shag and a quick exit. Bangkok has a reputation for it’s red light scene, and I guess many of these guys fly here for that very reason.

But what I can’t understand is the outrageous stupidity of those who shack up with hookers and then fall hopelessly in love with them. I’ve heard numerous stories of guys buying sex and then being sweet talked in to something deeper. And I haven’t yet heard a story which started in this fashion being blessed with a happy ending.

It’s not rocket science. If you believe the sweet pillow talk of a girl who’s being paid to make you feel good, you might as well just throw your wallet in the street and call it a day. For all of Thailand’s gracious hospitality, it’s not shy of the occasional blood vulture seeing only riches in your western complex.

Guys, if you’re going to Thailand and feel the need to splash the cash on getting some – don’t leave your common sense at the airport. Healthy relationships rarely materialise from a Sawadee in the lobby of a brothel!

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When A Guy Moves To Thailand…

I recently made the decision to move to Thailand and kiss goodbye to the classic freeze-your-nuts-off British winter that’s looming large on the horizon.

Who wouldn’t do the same if they had the chance?

There’s the fact that you can rent a sprawling mansion house for less than a tiny flat costs in London. I’m eyeing up a four bedroom, four bathroom place in the suburbs of Bangkok. Oh and it has a private swimming pool. For less than £1100/month.

Or how about the fact that the searing 30C heat is considered “cool season”? I can’t wait to top up my tan considering I’m the type of helpless English bastard who’s still staring at his bronzed arms from Glastonbury more than four months ago.

The Monday after the clocks go back is always a depressing affair and this week was no different. Given the opportunity to trade 4pm darkness for a Christmas on the beach, the choice is a no-brainer.

So, of course, the second I decide to tell my friends that I’m heading for Thailand, the reason is unanimous.

“He wants to bang some ladyboys.”

It doesn’t matter that I’m moving with my girlfriend and renting a place of our own. No, no, no. You tell your mates down the pub that you’re going to Thailand and there can only be one motive. You’re in it for the ladycock.

To be fair, I can see how it would be possible for a guy to improve his love life in Thailand. The country seems to have this reputation of being a paradise for the single white man. Well until you wake up next to a she-male, that is. I know several guys living the life of luxury in high-rise Bangkok condos and they rarely seem to be too far short of female attention on Facebook.

But to be honest, it’s a little sad that this beautiful and welcoming country has been reduced to no more than a giant pick-up ground in the minds of sex mad westerners. I can’t wait to travel and explore the culture with my girl.

It’s going to be a work of discipline too. Having read up on the etiquette of the Thai people, I’ve discovered that it’s offensive to show any public displays of affection. So all that noshing on the bus is a no-go.

I’m now counting down the days before I can jet out to pastures warm. Naturally the first thing I’ll be doing is tagging a bloody metric boatload of beach photos on Facebook. Happy Christmas wishes to my friends indeed!

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