7 POF Inbox Tips and Message Baiting Tricks

Posted: January 23rd, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: POF Inbox, POF Messages, Sites Like Plentyoffish | No Comments »

It’s a New Year and what does a New Year mean for online dating sites? It means KA-BOOM, your Plentyoffish inbox is about to get busy (if you’re female).

January and February are considered the peak season for online dating. We’re done with Christmas, we’re blocked in by the bad weather, and Valentines Day is rapidly approaching.

We’ve covered various tips for Plentyoffish, the world’s largest free dating site, as well as some tricks for busting the cobwebs off your POF inbox.

Here’s a list of 7 POF tips you can act on today to improve your chances of finding love (or sex, or romance) on Plentyoffish.

POF Inbox Tips

1. Make sure your profile is consistent with your personality.

Many POF tips encourage users to fabricate their personality, or to make up shit in the hope that women will find it more attractive. Even when this does increase your POF replies, it means you’re less likely to get on in person when/if you actually meet.

A good POF profile should…

2. Accentuate your best qualities, hide the flaws.

If you are not the kind of brash stud muffin who swaggers his way up to girls at the bar, find a positive quality that describes you in a different light. Don’t make up for what you lack.

For example, you can make it clear that you’re shy, and selective with who you befriend, but always confident in your own quiet way. An introvert who brands himself as an extrovert is not going to enjoy the experience of in-person dating.

Many POF profiles do a lousy job of hiding the user’s flaws. “My friends say I’m [negative quality a], [negative quality b] and [negative quality c]. So I thought I’d try dating online instead.”

Seriously, what?

Never brand your online adventure as a last resort after being pied in-person by the rest of womankind.

3. Use your wit carefully.

Having spoken to a lot of unsatisfied female POF users, one of the clearest gripes is that guys choose to be too funny, too witty, and too damn cheesy with their opening messages.

A well-timed joke is good if you can think of one, but a poorly rehearsed and barely-applicable pick-up line? Not so much.

A serious but friendly first message nearly always works better than the ‘trying to be funny’ ice breaker.

4. Choose a profile picture that shows you doing something interesting

Profile pictures that show the user happily engaged in an ‘unusual’ activity are considered some of the best performers in terms of triggering actual conversations.

See this data from OKCupid:

POF Inbox tips

5. Don’t look at the camera.

Women seems to respond more often when your profile photo shows you smouldering off in to the distance. It must be the mystery factor.

6. Upload at least three photos.

Any less and you will be considered a one pose wonder, no matter how alluring that singular pose may be.

Make sure you have at least three photos added, and aim for photos that show you in different environments. One default face pic, one ‘action shot’ (doing something interesting), and another showing your sensitive side.

Try arranging a sweeping visit to your sister’s house so you can get a quick snap of you holding your newborn niece. Or, pick up a stray kitten.

Contrasting photos show a multi-dimensional character. 12 pics in an album of you eyeballing the webcam has no such effect. It makes you look slightly crazy.

7. Reveal little, ask a lot.

There is a way to do this without coming across as a psycho gun slayer.

The fastest way to build a rapport through online dating is to ask regular meaningful questions.

What makes a meaningful questions?

A meaningful question is something that explores the identity of the person, rather than the cosmetic or materialistic preferences.

For example, “What’s your favourite colour?

That’s a pretty abysmal question.

Go for questions that tease answers related to her heritage, her plans for the future, her family, her quality of life, her love for any passions she has disclosed.

You’re shooting for small talk that has a hope of developing in to real talk!

Alternatives to Plentyoffish:

If you’re looking for a slightly more ‘liberal’ dating site aimed at casual dating demographics, check out the controversially sexy Just Hookup dating website. Free registrations for users in the UK, USA, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

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POF Inbox Tips & Tricks

Posted: May 15th, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Online Dating Tricks, POF Inbox, Sites Like Plentyoffish | Comments Off

Is your POF inbox empty and desolate? Is it overpacked with weirdos and definite no-nos? There seems to be very little middle ground on Plentyoffish. The POF inbox is either a barren wasteland of neglect and ‘event invitations’, or a swarming hive of crazy mentalists you wouldn’t want to meet down a dark alley.

Dating on Plentyoffish is a notoriously rocky experience. For every good catch, there are at least a hundred fish with herpes. Finding real-life human beings is the first challenge. Finding one that doesn’t strike the world of fear down your spinal column is another altogether.

Here are some POF Inbox boosting tricks to make the experience more endurable.

POF Inbox Boosters

1. Ladies, an intimate encounter is not a romantic dinner or a picnic in the park.

It’s POF code for “I fancy a shag, and my POF inbox shall be taken over by men who think they can get some.

A guy can often tell the IQ of a female fish by comparing her looking for criteria with the words in her profile. If she lambasts men for chasing sex and one night stands, only to be found seeking an ‘intimate encounter’, she’s either a massive hypocrite or slightly dim-witted. Possibly both.

I know Plentyoffish is a bit of a battleground at the best of times, but you can do yourself a favour by at least correctly identifying what you’re looking for.

2. Ladies, flirt at the camera in your profile photo. Guys, look away from the camera and don’t smile.

OkCupid has some imcredible insight in to what works and what doesn’t on dating sites. Check out this piece on profile photo myths.

The popular wisdom says that smiling in your profile photo is likely to attract the most responses, right?

That’s wrong for both women and men!

For women, the most effective profile photo is the flirty death stare:

For men, the most effective profile photo is an intrigued stare towards something or somebody off-camera. Smiling actually decreases the reply rates. Perhaps it’s that man of mystery vibe?

3. Flirting off-camera fails for both men and women.

Okay, so while both sexes can get away with a flirty stare at the camera, results are very different if you use a flirty look away from the camera. Messaging rates decline rapidly if you are seen to be flirting at the wallpaper or ceiling. So take that onboard mirror MySpacers. Unless, of course, too many messages is your problem to begin with… (an unknown problem for man)

4. Do something interesting in your photo.

A popular piece of wisdom, handed down over the years to practically every fish in the pond. If you are seen to be doing something interesting in your profile photo, your messages received will skyrocket. And not only will you receive more messages, but they will lead to longer lasting conversations.

Second to ‘doing something interesting’, is taking a photo with an animal.

Nobody says it has to be your pet. Hey, maybe a trip to the zoo might work. I’m guessing you could kill the two ‘do something interesting’ and ‘be with an animal’ birds with one stone by attempting to snuggle a rhinoceros. Don’t hold me to that though.

There you go. Four easy tips to repair your POF inbox before it gets out of hand. Use them wisely!

Alternatives to Plentyoffish:

If you’re looking for a slightly more ‘liberal’ dating site aimed at casual dating demographics, check out the controversially sexy Just Hookup dating website. Free registrations for users in the UK, USA, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

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POF Inbox Empty? Tips For Males!

Posted: March 28th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Attempts At Seduction, First Dating Message, Online Dating Tricks, Sites Like Plentyoffish | Comments Off

Is your POF inbox empty? Are you getting the serial cold shoulder treatment?

Plentyoffish seems to be the free dating site of choice for singletons these days. With millions of members and no user restrictions, the site is growing at a rapid pace. And it’s easy to see why.

We looked at some sites like Plentyoffish last week, but there’s no doubt that POF is still the kingpin. The problem for many male members is that it also happens to be an incredibly lop-sided community.

The deciding factor in whether your Plentyoffish inbox is buzzing or bare can be pinned on one hopeless question:

Are you a man or a woman?

If the answer is male, prepare to do a whole lot of chasing for little or no replies. It sucks to have a penis online. This is the bare truth.

But if you’re a woman? Get your trigger finger ready on the “Block” button. Dating sites are lop-sided by their very nature. Plentyoffish takes the cake, though.

Some demographics serve up as many as 15 messages to a female’s inbox for every single message that a male receives.

While I have no interest in using Plentyoffish personally, the sweet science of online dating is something that intrigues me greatly. I just read this post over on the Plentyoffish dating blog and if you’re a male, there are a number of good pointers you can take away. I’m going to summarize for the benefit of all those empty POF inboxes.

If I had to apply some common sense, I would say the easiest way to fix Plentyoffish is a two step formula:

a) Men to send better messages.
b) Women to actually reply to some of them.

But, of course, love is a game without logic.

Perhaps the best advice for guys on Plentyoffish is to strip away any over-powering masculinity and write like a woman. This evidence is firmly supported not only by the case study above, but by OkCupid’s statistical analysis.

Women are suspicious, skeptical, cynical and just downright hard to draw out of their shells on dating sites. It’s an instinctive quality, probably born through the sheer abundance of “creepers” they’ve been messaged by over time.

I’m going to copy and paste one of the most successful profiles from the Plentyoffish dating blog, so you can see how this lack of masculinity pans out. The dude below has been listed as a “favourite” by an abnormally high number of women. But why?

His profile:

“Who am I? . . . I’m Spider-Man. Wait, no, that was a movie! . . . . . I would describe myself as stable in my career and goal-oriented. I enjoy making people laugh. I am intelligent and can carry on meaningful conversations. I care about other people’s feelings. . . . . . When I’m with someone special I like being spontaneous, adventurous, romantic, surprising them with little gestures, sensual, playful, and basically having that type of fun you see two people who just met in the movies having! Someone to laugh with, hang out with, be spontaneous with, and have fun with! I’m looking for someone who has similar qualities and desires someone who they can connect with . . . . . . I feel there has to be mutual physical attraction for there to be good chemistry between two people. So being fit and having good looks are important, as well as sensuality and affection. . . . . . Having some similar interests helps–some things I enjoy are fine dining, walking at the beach at night, going dancing, watching movies including foreign films, travelling, going snowboarding, going on day trips to local attractions, having romantic nights at home, cuddling, and basically having a blast together. . . . . .”

It reads like a woman wrote it. Christ, I’ve seen enough of the PUA industry to have no doubt that one probably did. The language is soft, passive and distinctly nonthreatening.

Just look at those interests! Fine dining, dancing, walking on the bloody beach at night. Are you kidding me? No man in his right mind recites these interests to his mates at the pub.

As for “going on day trips to local attractions”, this is blatant lady-friendly terminology for saying “I like to get rat-arsed and watch the game on Sunday afternoons“. More to the point, it doesn’t matter what you mean. What matters is how you say it. Women will always respond more positively to language that appeals to them and doesn’t scream this man is out to terrorize my life.

It’s important to write your profile in such a way that, despite giving up whatever masculinity you have, a woman can read your shit and have boxes ticking in her head.

So if that empty Plentyoffish inbox is beginning to bother you, maybe it’s time to send less messages and spend more time portraying yourself in a light that women can easily gravitate towards.

Rewrite your profile, or get a female friend to word it for you. I know many guys who’ve done this and seen a big improvement in their response rates.

Of course, the alternative is to abandon Plentyoffish altogether and join a dating site where the playing field is more even. Other dating sites can offer much better ratios of active female to male members. If you join a dating site where the users are more serious about actually dating, well who knows? You might actually get a date out of this whole ordeal. And as many guys would attest, it would be a fine achievement indeed.

Alternatives to Plentyoffish:

If you’re looking for a slightly more ‘liberal’ dating site aimed at casual dating demographics, check out the controversially sexy Just Hookup dating website. Free registrations for users in the UK, USA, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

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